She had 'talked' to plants before, but not in the last thousand years or so.'You're not really a plant, are you?' she asked it.'Warm, light, touch, ' it replied.'Where do you come from?' she asked.'Wet, warm, light. Then cold, cold light, sleep. Then wet, warm, light. Now warm, not light, not wet.'Béla realized she wasn't going to get any better answers than that. Although the Boa was somewhat brighter than a potato (it had distinguished the difference between the Present and the Past and a potato didn't do that), it could be describing the destruction of its world, or its survival through last winter.'What do you eat?' Béla asked, starting to feel frustrated. This thing was still nearly dumb as a potato.'Light, wet, move, ' it replied.She had determined what she wanted to know. It was a plant. It absorbed plankton or whatever it touched as it drifted by in the water.'I'd better make sure not to get this thing wet, ' Béla thought, 'it might decide I'm a piece of plankton. A big. You know it, don't you? Gay bashing is a terrible, senseless crime, andit's hard to bring perpetrators to justice because the generalpopulation doesn't care enough about the rights of people who prefer tofollow an alternative lifestyle." But, you know that I'm not gay, leastwise I wasn't until a few minutesago. Up until I gave in, to please you orally, I was a one woman man,even if my ex was totally unresponsive to me." Dee, now you can become a one-man woman instead, my woman. I want tohave someone I can take out to a ball game, or out to dinner withoutlooking over my shoulder all the time for some lunatic intent onbashing your brains in. I don't want you to have to live in fearbecause of me, either, wondering if someone has a bug up his ass aboutthe two of us living together."Crossdressing part-time can be risky business. People around us willfigure out you're a guy eventually if you dress as a male one day and aas female the next. It will be safer for you if you dress as a womanall.
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